Yet, talk to negotiating pros from the worlds of government, finance and media and they'll admit there is at least some science to this art. Winning every point is rarely an option, of course, but if you keep a few principles in mind, you can tilt things in your favor -- whether you're signing a peace treaty or just angling for a raise.
If you remember one thing about negotiating, it should be this: It's not the maneuvering once you're in the trenches, but rather the preparation before sitting down at the table that counts.
That means taking the time to define what you want, what you are willing to accept and at what point you will walk away. It also means doing enough research to know what the other side wants -- and how far they are willing to go to get it.
“The most important information deals with the other side -- what drives them, how they measure success and what are their strengths and weaknesses," says Mladen Kresic, founder of K&R Negotiation Associates, a Ridgefield, Connecticut-based consultancy, and author of Negotiate Wisely in Business and Technology.
Richard Shell, a professor at the Wharton School of Business and author of The Art of Woo, about persuasive selling tactics, takes that notion a step further. “Know your own strengths and weaknesses,” he says. "By that, I mean know the kinds of negotiations that you enjoy and are good at -- and what ones are going to trip you up and make you anxious."
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